Fill in the ____

I've been thinking lately about fill in the blank statements. I've decided that in school, they are pretty lame because there is only one right answer that is supposed to go there. But with other questions (usually life/bible questions) it allows the responder to tailor the question to his/her situation. It allows for a simple teaching to expand to include anyone and everyone. I think the following statements demonstrate this phenomenon.

1. We don't follow Jesus.
2. We don't follow Jesus because we sin.
3. We don't follow Jesus because of 'fill in the blank'

The first and second statement are true, but the third makes the responder apply the question to their own life. It makes it personal. If I'm attending a bible study, I can nod and say 'true' for the first two statements, whether I know what I'm claiming or not. but with the third, I can't give a simple nod. I have to complete the sentence with my own thoughts. Sure, I'll still be able to make up an answer, but I have to think of and give an answer. Perhaps I'll comprehend what I'm saying.

A side note, this thought was sparked when I was thinking of how I sign letters/posts. Normally I sign them with 'Live for Him' based on a wrist band I wear. It has always seemed like a good life motto and mission statement, that I kind of adopted it. But a few days ago a thought occur to me, 'what can I replace 'for' with? And what does the new phrase mean?' In other words, Live ____ God. Here's a few of my substitutions:

Live at God
This seems really selfish. Like I'm going to show God how to live. I got it right, so I'm going to live my right life at you (God) and maybe He'll catch on. I'm going to do whatever I want and I'm going to throw it at you, because its my life, therefore I know how to live it best.

Live on God
This seems better. Making God the metaphorical base in my life. It reminds me of the song 'leaning on the everlasting arms.' Still I could take it to mean that God is below me. That He is the base and as long as I keep that base I can do whatever I want. Perhaps I'll, metaphorically, use this God base to build a castle for myself.

Live for God
This gives my life a purpose. As if I'm being employed to work for God. It doesn't give me the option to make my own outline of how to live life, because it has been given to me. Yet, I feel like this phrase is missing something. It almost seems like I could live for Him, with His rules, but still live a legalistic, unfulfilled life. Using the above example, perhaps god have me the base to build and He gave me the building plans and materials to do His work. That sounds pretty good, but I thought of a better phrase.

I thought, 'ok, at the end of the day what will I come home to.' I'll have a study foundation that cannot be shaken. I'll have the best building plan and all the best materials to make the structure. I have all the tools complete the best structure ever. But it's just a building. It's what is inside the building that matters.

Side note: Scriptural notes on some buildings. Jesus called the Pharisees 'Whitewashed Tombs' (Matthew 23:27). They were good looking on the outside, but dead on the inside. Paul calls our bodies 'Temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor 6:19). It's what's on the inside that counts.

So here's my new phrase...

Live with God
I've started to realize that, even if I have the best foundation and the greatest structure. It means nothing if I don't get to spend time with the designer, if I don't get to know the One who creates perfection (That's a fun thought). So I will still Live for God, but I will also Live with God. To know Him, for who He is. Then we will build the house together, after all Jesus was a carpenter :)

I'd love to here some of the words you can put into the phrase. Let me know your thoughts.

Live with Him

-Travis

Homosexuality and the bible

Recently I have gotten really annoyed with the talk (it's not even a debate anymore) about homosexual marriage. I find both sides presenting petty and flawed arguments. I'll start this blog with some biblical background on homosexuality and then I'll look at the two main 'arguments.' Please read this all the way through to the end and then, if inclined, comment with a thoughtfully created idea or objection.

So, what does the bible say about homosexuality? Is it a sin? Debatable, it is clear that by reading the Mosaic law, prophets and epistles that homosexuality is a bad thing and a sign of other bad things. Do homosexuals deserve to go to Hell? Yes. However, they deserve to go to Hell for lying, lusting, idolatry, or hatred, etc. In fact, every sin anyone commits creates for them a debt worthy of Hell. So, yes homosexuals deserve Hell, but everyone deserves Hell because "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23).

The most extensive passage about homosexuality is presented in the Romans 1: 23-32.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

It says that God gives people over to their desires. He lets people indulge in their sin if they don't choose Him (note: this goes beyond homosexuality).


Now to the 'arguments' about homosexuality. I'll start with the 'religious' argument. Within this camp I see people claiming that 'God hates gays,' 'gays are going to Hell,' etc. (I don't usually see biblical basis for these claims, but when they do they often use the texts I alluded to above). The problem I see is that people elevate homosexuality to some supremely evil sin. Something that is so evil that God Himself hates it and will send you to Hell for it. Yes, God does hate it, but He hates that you stole two dollars from mom's purse just as much.

I feel like this argument is presented to make the presenter feel more righteous. To scapegoat the gays and make oneself feel more holy because they 'aren't as bad as them.' (a similar thing is done with criminals). However, their sin isn't 'more sinful' than yours. All sin is equal in God's eyes. A humbling activity I've been taught is to, when we see a 'sinful' person, call ourselves 'just as bad or even worse.' When I see a murder think 'I am just as bad, even worse.' When I see a thief know that 'I am just as bad, even worse.' The same goes for the liar,


Also, the bible doesn't say we should reject the sinners and take away their rights. Christ gives very few commandments, but two of the most important are "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind'. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Matthew 22:37-38). It doesn't say we should only love those we like or the righteous people. During Jesus' ministry He didn't surround Himself with self-righteous priests. He lived with tax collectors, adulterers, gluttons, etc. He loved them, taught them and lead them to a life of serving Him.Regardless about whether you feel homosexuality is a sin the truly Christian way of treating homosexuals is not with contempt, but with love.

As for the other side of the argument the pro-homosexual side I have grown quite disappointed. There are some very good arguments that can be made, both biblically and culturally, that homosexuality is not evil or sinful. Arguments that have put a great deal of effort and thought into coming to a reasonable conclusion. Arguments that can be contested, but are rebutted calmly with intelligent thought. Unfortunately I do see many of these arguments, instead I see people using mockery and satire in an attempt to make their competition seem unintelligent. I'm a fan of satire, but when you can't make a legitimate argument with it. (here I'm speaking mostly about all of the facebook links I see on my news feed)

Both sides have legitimate arguments at their base, unfortunately these thoughts are shrouded by petty, biased and uninformed views. People taking texts out of context and using the bible to support their own view as opposed to seeing the message of the bible as a whole. People using mockery to try and make a legitimate point (also why I dislike political commercials), but after all I am just as bad, even worse.

Feel free to comment, but don't just yell at me. Take some time and put some serious thought into your comment and I'll put some serious thought into a reply.

Live for Him,

Travis

Emotions

I just watched a documentary on human trafficking called Nefarious: Merchant of Souls. I left the showing with many emotions; anger, confusion, shame, fear, hopelessness, conviction, etc. I'll be processing these feelings for a while and to get started I figured I'd just start writing. I have no plan or rough draft for this blog, it'll just be my train of thought as I try to grasp at some of the feelings and ideas in my mind. (I'll put my feelings in parenthesis so you can track my emotions)

I've seen plenty of films and shorts on human trafficking and I've done a fair bit of research. As I watched the film I knew most of the facts they were using. It seemed like other things I've seen before, group goes into an area, interviews trafficked people, pimps, traffickers, etc. The thing that caught my attention this time was that they kept digging. Most films I've seen show the researchers finding the trafficked victims, we hear their story of how they were abducted or forced into the sex trade. This film opened with that, but it continued on further. It talked about how a women's family can be so poor, that she would go sell herself to bring food home for her siblings and parents. Even that motive I am familiar with, but the next two levels I was unknowing of (at least in how severe they are).

The next part of the film focused on areas in Southeast Asia, namely Thailand and Cambodia. It talked about how parents will sell their daughters to make money for the family. I knew this occurrence happened when the family was starving, but it showed fathers who sold their daughters so that they could drink beer and smoke cigars all day long, or get a new cell phone or tv. It even mentioned that when a woman would give birth to a daughter they would tell her, 'congratulations. Jackpot. You have a financial safety net. If you're family is ever in financial need you can just sell you daughter.' I'm not a parent and yet I find this invigorating. Who would consider selling their daughter into a life of prostitution for personal gain? (Anger, confusion)

The film then took a domestic approach, looking at trafficking in the US. It talked about how women are lured into prostitution with the hope that they will meet a rich many who will marry them or that they will make a profit and be able to afford college. The disturbing part was that most of the women who entered prostitution did so because they felt that their body had no worth because they were abused as children, often times by family or friends. One pimp commented, 'I thank the abusive fathers, they prepared the girls for the life of sex and pain they were going to be apart of. I'm simply continued their work.' Broken homes driving young girls (average age 13) to live a life of selling their body. (Anger, disappointment, fear)

During the next part of the interviews focused on the girls' stories when reality set in. When they realized that their initial goals were not worth it. That they were never going to meet a nice husband or get the money for school. That their shame was too much. Any gain they got was not worth the cost it took to get it. (Anger, sadness). Every girl said they had a moment when this reality set in. They broke down crying by the side of their bed. They were full of shame, anger, depression. They thought that no one will ever love them. They all lost the reasons for living. Many turned to drugs for temporary happiness, others just lived in their depression, day after day with no hope for joy or a future. (Anger, depression)

One girl told a story of when she reached the point where she lost hope in life. She felt unloved and had recurring nightmares of the people who have abused her. When she reached the bottom of her depression she had another dream, one where she was in a garden and Jesus was sitting there. He didn't judge her, beat her, or abuse her. He would simply look at her and say, "I love you." There were many stories similar to this, but the thing that caught my notice was the women when they were telling their stories. When they were talking about their lives in depression, feeling unloved and shameful, they had sorrowful looks on their faces. But when Jesus enters into the picture there is a glow that comes to their persona, their face lightens, they start weeping. (A feeling I can't describe at the moment)

Then I thought back to some passages in Jeremiah I've read in the recent past. In chapter 3 the Lord repeatedly compares Israel to and adulterer and prostitute. "But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers-would you now return to me?" (Jer 3:1) At first I glanced over this verse, but now I'm starting to see that in our sin we are just like those prostitutes. Living in depression and shame with ambitions in mind that justify our actions. Then we reach a time when we decide it's not worth it, that we have been chasing a fruitless dream. We are dead in our sin and we're too far in to know what to do. We either live in our depression or find quick fixes of happiness, but we always go back to terrible life we know we're living. And the ONLY thing that can change that is Christ Jesus. We are just like the prostitutes in our sin, shouldn't we be just like them in our rejoicing over Jesus when he brings us into new life? (Awe)

I feel like this blog is reaching its limit, though there is still many thoughts I have flying around my head. I'd love to talk with some of you about them. My final thought comes from the last Cru meeting of the past year. In Bill's final talk he said that, "God loves you just the way you are, but He loves you too much to leave you that way." God loves you as a His child when you come to Him. He loves you in your sin and sorrow, in your joy and pain. He loves the broken prostitute you are when you come back to Him. BUT He loves you too much to leave you where you're at. He wants to blossom the relationship and make you into a new creation, fearfully and wonderfully made for the Glory of God. (Joy)

Live for Him,

Travis

Becoming

I just got back from a Men's retreat with my fellow campus crusaders. There were many topics discussed at the weekend. One idea that stuck out to me was during the 'becoming a Godly husband' topic. All the guys have heard this talk many times, do this and don't do this, 'Love your wife as Christ loved the church' (Eph 5:25), etc. This talk, however, was different. First off, the speaker was very direct and blunt. He didn't weed around the bush.

One of his most convicting and overarching statements (being that it applies to all parts of life) was the following quote: "you will never be what you are not becoming." The meaning behind this quote is that someone doesn't just become what they want to be. The main example being, you don't just become a good husband or wife when you get married.

Everyone has their idea of what their ideal marriage will look like. What kind of person their spouse will be and what kind of person they will be. But we don't just magically become this person when we get married/enter a relationship. There isn't some beam of light and we become all knowledgeable. The temptation and sin that has plagued our life doesn't just disappear. This is one reason why I think many modern marriages end in divorce, that the act of getting married all the problems are suddenly solved.

Back to the quote, its implication is that whatever future spouse you desire to be, you should be working towards that right now. If you aren't becoming a loving person now, you will not just become a loving person later. If you are not becoming a respectful leader now, you will not just become a respectful leader later. You can fill in the blank with whatever qualities you want to be evident in your future life.

This relates nicely to a very unfortunate situation I often hear. The, "I'm going to live my life now (partying or self-centered life) and then when I'm older I'll settle down and become spiritual." The quote applies.

Most of you would say that you want to be loving in your relationship with your future spouse. That starts now, with your dating relationships, with you friendships. If we want to live the life we desire, we must be working towards it now. If you want to love, start loving. If you want to lead, start leading. If you want to respect, start respecting. Your future starts now.

Also, you can only become the best you can be through the power of Christ. Whatever quality you desire in your life is good, but is made perfect in Christ. He is the only way to overcome those temptations and sin that have plagued your life. Through Him is the only way to view your husband/wife as he/she truly is, a child of God.

Live for Him,

Travis

Eternal Life

I've recently been thinking about eternal life. I've been thinking about my preconceptions, public perceptions and biblical explanations.

First off, I'll go over my preconceptions about eternal life. To be honest, I never really put much thought into it. Heaven was just some place good Christians go when they die. A few months ago I came to realize that there was so much more. I've always accepted the idea of a hell, but I never really gave much consideration to it. A little while ago I was really slapped in the face when I heard a speaker talk about heaven and hell. He went on to say that people, given our sinful nature, all deserve hell. That we don't deserve to experience God's presence in hell, but though the sacrifice of our savior Jesus Christ we can be be saved. I had to overcome a huge hurdle and admit to myself that, 'I deserve hell and only through Christ can I experience the eternal love of God.'

Now, what about the public idea of eternal life? I've heard a lot of different ideas of what heaven and hell is and how/why people get where they do. Some of the most common ideas I'll lay out in the next paragraph. One idea I hear a lot is the 'I'm a good person, so I deserve heaven.' By extension all the 'bad people' go to hell. Another thought I've heard is, 'I went to church/said a prayer/am religious etc. so I deserve/earned heaven.' I've heard people looking forward to seeing loved ones when they get to heaven, a parent, sibling, child, even some animals. I've heard people look forward to a world without sin or crime, even looking forward to golden streets and pearl gates.

I'm sure you have all heard many other beliefs about heaven, but what does the bible say? First off, who goes to heaven? The good? The reightous? Here is where the famous John 3:16 is often sited, "For God so loved the world that who ever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." One thing that I'd like to point out is that of belief. This passage isn't talking about some half-hearted belief, such as reciting some prayer from church or singing a worship song. This belief is a fully enveloped, all consuming belief.

Anyway, what does the bible say about eternal life? Are there streets of gold or gates of pearls, maybe they are alluded to in the bible. Are our dead relatives going to be there? maybe. But the bible clearly states in John 17:3, "Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent." Meeting disciples or family in heaven would be nice, but you get to meet God. What are you priorities? Moreover, nowhere in this definition is there a necessity to die from our earthly bodies. If eternal life is knowing God, that starts here and know. He doesn't say, when you die you then you will know God or when you're older you will know God or when you're less sinful you will know God. It reminds me of City on our knees by Toby Mac, "If you gotta start somewhere why not here? If you gotta start sometime why not now?"

So here's the point. Eternal life starts now. It is about us knowing God though Jesus Christ. Plain and simple. It isn't about our dreams, wants or desires, it is all about God. So what role is God playing in your eternity?

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

Last will

I've recently been thinking about 'last wills and testaments.' In case you don't know a will is what someone leaves when they die and it usually is used to determine where the person's possessions will be dispersed. In modern days people write out a formal will and sign it saying that it is their last will. When they pass the persons will is read and the directions are followed accordingly.

In a last will it is a persons last thoughts and desires. They have no need to hide anything, because they'll be dead when it is read. They can distribute his/her property as desired and they can make a last 'testament' for their life. They could confess to a crime, maybe tell the truth long forgotten. They could give unspoken praise or final rebukes. Like I said, they have nothing to hide, cause they're not going to be around when it is disclosed.

I then did a quick web search of the history of wills. They've been the same pretty much through history, the only difference being the widespread use of writing. Before then wills were audibly spoken to a law-figure or close friends, who would then record or pass on the information. It reminds me of a war scene when an important character is fatally injured, he pulls his closest companion over and tells them his last will. Maybe he wants his family to be feed, maybe he wants them to move to another city, etc.

A last will is almost never sugar coated. It is the most likely place we are to find a persons true, unadulterated thoughts and desires. The things they hold most dear.

Then I got thinking about biblical things. I thought of Christ Jesus and what his 'last will' was. It is recorded in Matthew 28: 18-20, most famously called the Great Commission.

"all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefor go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

This is Christ's last will and testament. Soon after this he ascends to the Father. Notice what He says. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." Often Jesus speaks using analogies and parables, but here He is quite direct. No sugar coating, He has ALL authority in heaven and earth.

Also, after this He doesn't say, 'now go party' or 'go to church.' He says "Go and make disciples" I've extrapolated this to say, 'don't let my life and teachings be some knowledge you hold up in your noggin. Don't let it be something you keep to yourself. Go spread the word, Go spread the Gospel.'

I recently sang a song at my church entitled, "Go, make disciples." It goes as followed:

Go, make disciples. Baptizing them, teaching them.

Go, make disciples. For I am with you til' the end of time.

Go, be the salt of the earth.

Go, be the light of the world.

Go, be a city on a hill.

So all can see that you're serving me.

Now Go!

These song really spoke to me. It was direct, just as Christ was direct. It doesn't pose it as a possibility or a suggestion. This is Christ's command, 'Go.' Not 'stay' or 'in a while.' The line that really got me was the second to last, 'so all can see that you're serving me.' This is a huge humbling block. Again Christ isn't saying to make disciples to glorify ourselves, but rather to glorify Him. (Side thought: if people don't see you serving Him, are you serving Him?)

Anyway, Christ's last will was that we will 'Go.' So how are you going. He doesn't ask us to wait until we're 'more holy' or until we go on that mission trip. We can go here and now on our campus. We can reach our friends and family. We can meet random people on the street or in the student union. Whatever you do, all Christ says is one command. GO!

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

Means or ends?

I've seen the post, 'God is good!' a couple of times recently on facebook. In all cases it was when the exclaimer got something he/she strongly desired. When they got what they wanted, be that a dream job position or an internship, they gave thanks to God, and rightly so, for it is good to give Him thanks and praise. Then it got me thinking, why don't I see any post like, 'I just failed my test. God is so good' or 'I just broke up with my girlfriend. God is so good.'

To me it almost seems like we sometimes use God as a sort of vending machine. We pray to Him and ask for the things we want, just as we put our money into a vending machine and press the number corresponding to our stomach's desires. When we finally get that treat we rejoice and are thankful. But what about when the machine jams or gives us something we didn't want? (I've often seen/heard people body checking vending machines because they didn't get what they wanted)

Anyway, this is all a segue to a much broader and much more convicting topic. I've recently been thinking about ends vs. means. An end is what the ultimate goal of a situation is and the means are the methods to which you get there. For example, school is often a mean to a career, which is in turn a mean to getting money, which is in turn a mean to support a family, etc. It seems like American culture strongly emphasizes this pattern. When you achieve an end, it becomes just the mean to a greater end. (so what is the 'ultimate' end?)

On to spiritual things, Is your faith based on the results or are your results based in your faith?Do you believe what you believe because it brings about what you desire, like friends, catharsis, travel, music, etc? Moreover, is God a means or an end? Is He your God because you get a good community? Is He your God so that you can become more righteous? Is He your God so that you can get (fill in the blank)?

In other words, God becomes a function in our life that fulfills the role we want it to. Just like a part in a machine. The problem with this God is when He doesn't work the way we want Him to what do we do? Sometimes we'll try to find a better part to put into our machine. Maybe we'll fill it with relationships, drinking, sex, etc. Other times we'll try to 'fix' the parts to make them work better. We'll put some duct tape or wd-40 to try to make the system work. Sometimes we'll do the same with God, we'll change Him in our mind. Covering up what we don't like and focusing on what works.

We've all, at some point, made God a part in our life in some way, shape or form. For me I got to know God at a ministry called Teens Encounter Christ (tec). For months, maybe even years, I attended this weekend because I wanted to have a place where I could feel accepted. A place where I could tell all the deep parts of my life, not be judged, and experience catharsis time and time again. Notice that throughout the last few sentences the word 'I' appears a lot. My faith was very much selfish. It was all about me, how many of you can relate? God was a mean to achieve the ends that I wanted.

Eventually I started to see the big picture and I was humbled. To see God's plan and its meticulous precision and awesomeness and I saw that it was not all about me. That it was intended for all, that His message needed to be heard and spread. How selfish would it be for me to hear the good news of the gospel and keep it to myself? I was introduced to a great bible verse John 3:30, "He must become greater, I must become less."

Here's the challenge. Is your faith a selfish faith. Is its purpose to serve as your means to your ends or is God the end? Actually, forget that. Instead ask yourself, 'what ends is God serving as a mean.' We all got them, we just have to realize it. Then I challenge you to make those ends means to God. Make them forms of worship and be humbled.

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

The E-Word

Howdy Y'all,

There is a word out there that people cringe at. Not even the most fowled-mouth, sailor-swearing person dares to speak it. It may bring about a number of emotions; including anger, fear, confusion, etc. This word and all its social, political and spiritual implications will turn your life upside down. If you say this word you may lose friends, or at least they won't look at you the same again. This word will challenge you like you have never been challenged. If understood it will make your life feel void, you will never look at people or God the same. Are you ready to hear it? If not, you may want to do some serious praying before continuing.

If you've gotten to this point then you're willing to take the risk of reading the rest of this note. Before we get to 'the E-Word' I will give you some background to my thinking that has occurred the past week. I recently attended the Cru Denver Christmas Conference (DCC). It was my second year going and it held up to last year. Both times I have been challenged to grow in my faith. Last year this inspired my FB note entitled 'Surrender' (feel free to read it if you like or are challenged by this note). The gist of that note was, as the title suggests, the idea of surrendering parts of my life to God. The bottom line being that I was afraid to surrender parts of my life to God including school, friends, future. Since writing that note I've tried to tack on work, leadership and crushes. My conclusion for my lack of surrender was fear, which is ultimately what I took out of this years' DCC.

The fear was the same, stemming from pride, shame, etc. However, this year it manifested itself in a different form. I suppose now is a good time to unveil 'the E-word' I alluded to in the opening paragraph. The word is Evangelism. Some of you may snicker at this thinking that the opening paragraph is incorrect or wrong, but let me continue. First think of the last time you heard this word in conversation, then think of the last time you heard it at church. To be honest I don't think I have ever heard this word said at my church. It always seems to be downplayed, brushed aside or ignored. Even among my Christian friends I rarely hear this word, sometimes I'll hear the occasional, 'let's go sharing,' but isn't evangelism so much more than that?

Here's the kicker, when is the last time you went and evangelized to someone? This is the thought that got me. There I sat, a bible study leader with Cru, and I couldn't remember the last time I actually took the time out of my schedule to share the faith with someone, much less bring someone to know their Savior Jesus Christ. Throughout the conference I was convicted of this time and time again, but one of the lines that got me was, "how much must you really hate someone to believe in eternity and heaven and hell, and not share it with them?" I found myself often using the excuse that 'they are too far for me to save' or even 'I don't think they deserve to be saved' (Both of which were points of conviction this week). How much must I hate them to know the 'secret' to eternal salvation and not tell them? Why should they burn in hell because I was too lazy to tell them?

The main point that I kept thinking was 'I'm not good enough.' I wondered how God could ever use an average person like me in His plan. One speaker talked over Romans 1. How God has a use for "both Greeks and non-Greeks, both wise and foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel" (14-15). God has a use for the wise, but he also has a use for the fool. He has a use for the great, but he also has a use for the average.

I decided that it was time to get real. I talked with a friend and I asked him to hold me accountable to sharing the gospel weekly. I found out that he was convicted in the same way I was. The conversation ended with both of us taking a pledge to take one of our lunches together and go evangelize. I was also moved to strongly consider doing missions next summer. Did you know that there are about 3 billion people who have not been reached by the gospel? That's almost half of the worlds population!!!! I am strongly considering going to Athens, Greece or India where the Christian population is less than 1% in both cases.

My hunch is that most of you are like me. We don't share the Gospel because we are too afraid or too lazy or too (fill in the blank). Whatever your reason, I pray that you will be moved to tell someone about your savior Jesus Christ. No I take that back, I pray that you will be moved to make evangelism a central part of your life. Not something that waits for summer projects or bible camp or 'when I'm older' or (fill in the blank). If you need someone to hold you accountable or evangelize with you, please contact me. I would love to have a reason to overcome my laziness and fear and share the gospel.

Live for Him,

Travis

Proceed with Caution

Warning: this is not a light read. I almost teared up while writing it. Proceed with caution.

Watch!

First off, thanks to Nick for showing me this. You may find it helpful to read his blog first, just click on his name to go to his blog. (though this is not necessary to follow my blog)

Thoughts, first off the idea of a mask. We all have them. We put them up so people will see what they want to see, even if it is not the truth. We want peoples approval, we want to feel worthy, we want to feel loved. We keep looking for these things in places they're not, we look for satisfaction in people, in relationships, in grades, in books, in video games, the list goes on and on. But God doesn't want our mask, He doesn't want the fake us that we try so hard to build up. He wants the true us, the person He made us to be, not the one society made. He wants the real us (and any true Christian will not only accept, but should prefer the real you too!) I want the real you!

God doesn't care about where you've been or the things you've done. He doesn't care if you've cut or if you've killed. He doesn't care if you've hated or if you've lusted. His love is greater than that, His love is greater than all of your sin. He doesn't want you to live a life of pain and tears, all He wants is you.

As Nick said, we've all been bullied. In some way shape or form you have been bullied. Maybe its been some name calling on the playground, maybe it was some kid pushing you. Maybe someone calling you fat or ugly or dumb. Whatever it may be, we've been there. Bullying has always existed and it is not going away anytime soon. The way I see it there are three ways we deal with bullying. One, we let it go, we give it to God. It doesn't effect us. However, I feel there are very few, if any, people who truly follow this path. (I know that I don't) Path two, we rant. We find people or objects to shed our feelings and burdens on. We cry, we get physical, we kill things in halo, etc.

Option 3, we hide it and push it under the rug, let it bottle up inside. Until we reach the breaking point, then what? We go to the extremes of path two. Crying becomes panic attacks, physicality becomes injuries, killing things in halo becomes attempting to kill ourselves.

Confession time, the summer before coming to college my life was turbulent. I was going through the transition from high school to college. All of my friends and semi-friends fell out of my social life. I was sinning out the wazoo with little care for God. I went on a mission trip where I vowed to life to Christ...it lasted a week. Then I felt so terrible the rest of my summer was ruined. My youth group went to Worlds of Fun towards the end of the summer, I was looking to have a good time. While there I had a fairly fun time, but on the car ride home I noticed that everyone in the van had someone to be with, except me. I convinced myself that I was a burden, to my friends, to my family. I honestly thought that the world would be better without me. I just wanted someone to care (even God) and when nobody did I just wanted it to be over. The only thing I was holding onto was a song by Building 429 entitled Always. The final stanza is:

Friend I don't know where you are
And I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life
Or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy
If there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got
And you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on

I played this song over and over. Just trying to give myself some hope. I don't know what kept me alive through that, but regardless coming to college was the best thing to happen to my faith. God became real, I could find joy in Him, actual joy not some fake temporal happiness. I'm trying to move to the first option I talked about, putting everything to God. (End confession)

Back to the video, like Nick I read some of the comments and the one I kept seeing over and over was ,'fake.' A slight anger flared up in me. This kid is sharing his soul, and people call it fake. What jerks. Anyway, to them I say, 'even if this video is faked, this story is real. Maybe the bullied kid isn't Jonah. Maybe his name is Steve or Bill. This story is real, it is the story of millions of kids.'

Final comment, at the end of the video the mood takes a turn for the better. The last card says, 'I have a million reasons to be here.' First, I'll commend this statement. We all need something/someone worth living for. We need a reason to exist. Second, if those million reasons are in people, grades, games, etc. They will fail you! God is the only reason to be here that is not temporal, He will always love us. He will always be there for us.

"You're all I want, You're all I need. You're everything. Everything!" -Lifehouse

The Real Test

With the slew of finals almost upon us I have heard many people discuss and complain about tests, projects, papers, etc. One friend in particular was getting really riled over her projects and papers. She became very stressed and any comfort seemed to be futile. As I was thinking through this situation a thought occurred to me, 'what is the real test?'

Is the real test my math or physics test next week, or maybe it's a religion paper or project. What if the real test isn't one sponsored by the school, but rather a test from God? Could it be that He's testing us to see how our faith stands up to the stresses of school, to see if our faith is authentic?

Earlier this semester I was this very stereotype, I was always complaining about my physics and math homework and tests. I found my grades slipping and, to say the least, I became quite distressed. I then realized that I was placing academics/school as an idol in my life. However much I didn't want to admit it, I sucked it up and confessed. I was challenged to let go of school as an idol, I gave it shot and it seemed to work out.

A few weeks later I got to hear a message about school as an idol. The speaker estimated that probably 95% of students hold school as an idol (whether they realize it or not is another story). American culture seems to imply that if someone does good in school then he/she will be successful, they'll get the good job and the dream husband/wife. They will get to live the american dream, just by getting good grades.

I then remembered a passage in Matthew. I was reminded that God will provide exactly what we need when we need it. I also came to realize that sometimes we need a kick in the pants or a slap in face to get us going in the right direction. I have always had the head knowledge that God knows what is best, but I often mixed that up with my personal will. He intended to change this. I came the actualization that God's will is good, but when it's happening to you it often doesn't seem that way.

Anyways, these finals are going to come, the projects will be due and you will get a grade. So what? It's over. But God's love will never be over. Whether you get the 'A' or you barely scrape by with a 'D' all God wants is for you to be fully devoted to Him. The real test isn't what you take in school, but rather where you life is placed. In God? In School? In Friends? In Relationships?

This is both a reminder and a challenge for this upcoming finals, as well as, future 'tests.'

Thoughts, comments and suggestions are welcomed.

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

FB Status

I've recently read the following status (and others like it)

Dad comes home drunk and mad. He pulls a gun on his wife then turns the gun to himself, his little girl sits behind the couch crying. The police came and took the girl. She is now with a new family. Her first day of Sunday school she walks past the building and sees a picture of Jesus on the cross, the little girl asks the teacher "How did that man get off the cross?!" The teacher replied "He di............dn't!" The little girl argued "Yes he did, the night mommy and daddy died, he sat next to me behind the couch and told me everything would be alright. 66% of you won't re-post this.. but, remember. The bible says "Deny me in front of your friends, and I will deny you in front of my father." So repost this if you are part of the 33%

At the end of the status there is a charge to act. As I read it I felt as if the status is kind of saying, 'prove you're a Christian by...'

Does not reposting this mean that you are denying Christ? Does it mean you aren't really a Christian? I personally don't think so. Then what about the other side? If you do repost this does it prove your Christianity or make you a 'better' Christian? Again, I personally don't think so. I fail to see a connection between not posting a facebook status and denying Christ. (I think that a lot of people will read this status and think, 'oh, I have to prove my Christian-ness because so-and-so said I'm not a Christian if I don't repost this')

Thought, if someone were to live with this mindset how would they get through life? One could easily say, 'if you don't go to church x-many times this week you denied Christ' or 'If you didn't evangelize with everyone you saw, then you denied Christ.' If something as medial as facebook can cause you deny Christ then how much worse will the other factors of life be?

From a biblical point the alluded to passage in the status comes from Matthew 10. This is when Jesus is sending out the disciples, telling them what to do when they come to a town. The verse comes into play when people would deny the disciples, because by extension they we denying Jesus and by extension they were denying God.

I don't know if I should feel convicted by this sort of message or if I should question the people who sent it. Is this status an act of serving God? or is it a sign of a misguided faith? Am I rationalizing not posting it to make myself feel better? because I'm lazy? I don't really know the answer.

What do y'all think about this kind of post?

Step One

Hey y'all,

Something moved in me recently to start blogging. I know I kind of blog on facebook with notes, I'm planning on having this blog in tandem with the facebook notes. They will likely share some of my ideas, I may even copy one from here and put them on facebook and vice-versa. However, I will likely be more open and direct with this blog, I plan on being real. Not just putting up some cool ideas I have, but blogging about how life is going, the good and the bad.

We'll start off with a simple blog. Last night was UNL worship night. Afterwords, I had a great 2 1/2 hour conversation with my friend Kevin. We just talked about God and Christianity, it was magnificent. Towards the end of our conversation I had the thought, 'Christianity is so backwards from anything else I've encountered, anything human.'

From a human standpoint when someone pushes us, we're supposed to push them back, but God says, 'turn the other cheek.' When someone lies to us and betrays us, the human response is to get revenge, while God says that He will ultimately judge them, our only job is to love.

One of the final thoughts we had was how different Christianity is from other religions. Nearly all other religions in the world are about what we can do as human to touch the divine. Often times it presents itself as a checklist, do this and that and then you will touch the divine and go to heaven. Lots of religions take the stance that people aren't bad, we just make some mistakes on the way. In particular I am studying Islam in my religion class and they don't believe in original sin, they believe that people often 'forget' about Allah's will and they just need to be fixed.

This thought ultimately boiled down to what Christianity says. Our thought was that the first step of Christianity isn't to go to church or help an old lady cross the street. To become a Christian one doesn't have to pay a tax, say a prayer or do a ritual. The first step to becoming and authentic Christian is to say, 'I suck.' To say that we can't be good enough, no matter how hard we try. To say that we are broken beyond human repair. To give up and surrender.

This is step one, are you there?