Last will

I've recently been thinking about 'last wills and testaments.' In case you don't know a will is what someone leaves when they die and it usually is used to determine where the person's possessions will be dispersed. In modern days people write out a formal will and sign it saying that it is their last will. When they pass the persons will is read and the directions are followed accordingly.

In a last will it is a persons last thoughts and desires. They have no need to hide anything, because they'll be dead when it is read. They can distribute his/her property as desired and they can make a last 'testament' for their life. They could confess to a crime, maybe tell the truth long forgotten. They could give unspoken praise or final rebukes. Like I said, they have nothing to hide, cause they're not going to be around when it is disclosed.

I then did a quick web search of the history of wills. They've been the same pretty much through history, the only difference being the widespread use of writing. Before then wills were audibly spoken to a law-figure or close friends, who would then record or pass on the information. It reminds me of a war scene when an important character is fatally injured, he pulls his closest companion over and tells them his last will. Maybe he wants his family to be feed, maybe he wants them to move to another city, etc.

A last will is almost never sugar coated. It is the most likely place we are to find a persons true, unadulterated thoughts and desires. The things they hold most dear.

Then I got thinking about biblical things. I thought of Christ Jesus and what his 'last will' was. It is recorded in Matthew 28: 18-20, most famously called the Great Commission.

"all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefor go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

This is Christ's last will and testament. Soon after this he ascends to the Father. Notice what He says. "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." Often Jesus speaks using analogies and parables, but here He is quite direct. No sugar coating, He has ALL authority in heaven and earth.

Also, after this He doesn't say, 'now go party' or 'go to church.' He says "Go and make disciples" I've extrapolated this to say, 'don't let my life and teachings be some knowledge you hold up in your noggin. Don't let it be something you keep to yourself. Go spread the word, Go spread the Gospel.'

I recently sang a song at my church entitled, "Go, make disciples." It goes as followed:

Go, make disciples. Baptizing them, teaching them.

Go, make disciples. For I am with you til' the end of time.

Go, be the salt of the earth.

Go, be the light of the world.

Go, be a city on a hill.

So all can see that you're serving me.

Now Go!

These song really spoke to me. It was direct, just as Christ was direct. It doesn't pose it as a possibility or a suggestion. This is Christ's command, 'Go.' Not 'stay' or 'in a while.' The line that really got me was the second to last, 'so all can see that you're serving me.' This is a huge humbling block. Again Christ isn't saying to make disciples to glorify ourselves, but rather to glorify Him. (Side thought: if people don't see you serving Him, are you serving Him?)

Anyway, Christ's last will was that we will 'Go.' So how are you going. He doesn't ask us to wait until we're 'more holy' or until we go on that mission trip. We can go here and now on our campus. We can reach our friends and family. We can meet random people on the street or in the student union. Whatever you do, all Christ says is one command. GO!

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

Means or ends?

I've seen the post, 'God is good!' a couple of times recently on facebook. In all cases it was when the exclaimer got something he/she strongly desired. When they got what they wanted, be that a dream job position or an internship, they gave thanks to God, and rightly so, for it is good to give Him thanks and praise. Then it got me thinking, why don't I see any post like, 'I just failed my test. God is so good' or 'I just broke up with my girlfriend. God is so good.'

To me it almost seems like we sometimes use God as a sort of vending machine. We pray to Him and ask for the things we want, just as we put our money into a vending machine and press the number corresponding to our stomach's desires. When we finally get that treat we rejoice and are thankful. But what about when the machine jams or gives us something we didn't want? (I've often seen/heard people body checking vending machines because they didn't get what they wanted)

Anyway, this is all a segue to a much broader and much more convicting topic. I've recently been thinking about ends vs. means. An end is what the ultimate goal of a situation is and the means are the methods to which you get there. For example, school is often a mean to a career, which is in turn a mean to getting money, which is in turn a mean to support a family, etc. It seems like American culture strongly emphasizes this pattern. When you achieve an end, it becomes just the mean to a greater end. (so what is the 'ultimate' end?)

On to spiritual things, Is your faith based on the results or are your results based in your faith?Do you believe what you believe because it brings about what you desire, like friends, catharsis, travel, music, etc? Moreover, is God a means or an end? Is He your God because you get a good community? Is He your God so that you can become more righteous? Is He your God so that you can get (fill in the blank)?

In other words, God becomes a function in our life that fulfills the role we want it to. Just like a part in a machine. The problem with this God is when He doesn't work the way we want Him to what do we do? Sometimes we'll try to find a better part to put into our machine. Maybe we'll fill it with relationships, drinking, sex, etc. Other times we'll try to 'fix' the parts to make them work better. We'll put some duct tape or wd-40 to try to make the system work. Sometimes we'll do the same with God, we'll change Him in our mind. Covering up what we don't like and focusing on what works.

We've all, at some point, made God a part in our life in some way, shape or form. For me I got to know God at a ministry called Teens Encounter Christ (tec). For months, maybe even years, I attended this weekend because I wanted to have a place where I could feel accepted. A place where I could tell all the deep parts of my life, not be judged, and experience catharsis time and time again. Notice that throughout the last few sentences the word 'I' appears a lot. My faith was very much selfish. It was all about me, how many of you can relate? God was a mean to achieve the ends that I wanted.

Eventually I started to see the big picture and I was humbled. To see God's plan and its meticulous precision and awesomeness and I saw that it was not all about me. That it was intended for all, that His message needed to be heard and spread. How selfish would it be for me to hear the good news of the gospel and keep it to myself? I was introduced to a great bible verse John 3:30, "He must become greater, I must become less."

Here's the challenge. Is your faith a selfish faith. Is its purpose to serve as your means to your ends or is God the end? Actually, forget that. Instead ask yourself, 'what ends is God serving as a mean.' We all got them, we just have to realize it. Then I challenge you to make those ends means to God. Make them forms of worship and be humbled.

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

The E-Word

Howdy Y'all,

There is a word out there that people cringe at. Not even the most fowled-mouth, sailor-swearing person dares to speak it. It may bring about a number of emotions; including anger, fear, confusion, etc. This word and all its social, political and spiritual implications will turn your life upside down. If you say this word you may lose friends, or at least they won't look at you the same again. This word will challenge you like you have never been challenged. If understood it will make your life feel void, you will never look at people or God the same. Are you ready to hear it? If not, you may want to do some serious praying before continuing.

If you've gotten to this point then you're willing to take the risk of reading the rest of this note. Before we get to 'the E-Word' I will give you some background to my thinking that has occurred the past week. I recently attended the Cru Denver Christmas Conference (DCC). It was my second year going and it held up to last year. Both times I have been challenged to grow in my faith. Last year this inspired my FB note entitled 'Surrender' (feel free to read it if you like or are challenged by this note). The gist of that note was, as the title suggests, the idea of surrendering parts of my life to God. The bottom line being that I was afraid to surrender parts of my life to God including school, friends, future. Since writing that note I've tried to tack on work, leadership and crushes. My conclusion for my lack of surrender was fear, which is ultimately what I took out of this years' DCC.

The fear was the same, stemming from pride, shame, etc. However, this year it manifested itself in a different form. I suppose now is a good time to unveil 'the E-word' I alluded to in the opening paragraph. The word is Evangelism. Some of you may snicker at this thinking that the opening paragraph is incorrect or wrong, but let me continue. First think of the last time you heard this word in conversation, then think of the last time you heard it at church. To be honest I don't think I have ever heard this word said at my church. It always seems to be downplayed, brushed aside or ignored. Even among my Christian friends I rarely hear this word, sometimes I'll hear the occasional, 'let's go sharing,' but isn't evangelism so much more than that?

Here's the kicker, when is the last time you went and evangelized to someone? This is the thought that got me. There I sat, a bible study leader with Cru, and I couldn't remember the last time I actually took the time out of my schedule to share the faith with someone, much less bring someone to know their Savior Jesus Christ. Throughout the conference I was convicted of this time and time again, but one of the lines that got me was, "how much must you really hate someone to believe in eternity and heaven and hell, and not share it with them?" I found myself often using the excuse that 'they are too far for me to save' or even 'I don't think they deserve to be saved' (Both of which were points of conviction this week). How much must I hate them to know the 'secret' to eternal salvation and not tell them? Why should they burn in hell because I was too lazy to tell them?

The main point that I kept thinking was 'I'm not good enough.' I wondered how God could ever use an average person like me in His plan. One speaker talked over Romans 1. How God has a use for "both Greeks and non-Greeks, both wise and foolish. That is why I am so eager to preach the gospel" (14-15). God has a use for the wise, but he also has a use for the fool. He has a use for the great, but he also has a use for the average.

I decided that it was time to get real. I talked with a friend and I asked him to hold me accountable to sharing the gospel weekly. I found out that he was convicted in the same way I was. The conversation ended with both of us taking a pledge to take one of our lunches together and go evangelize. I was also moved to strongly consider doing missions next summer. Did you know that there are about 3 billion people who have not been reached by the gospel? That's almost half of the worlds population!!!! I am strongly considering going to Athens, Greece or India where the Christian population is less than 1% in both cases.

My hunch is that most of you are like me. We don't share the Gospel because we are too afraid or too lazy or too (fill in the blank). Whatever your reason, I pray that you will be moved to tell someone about your savior Jesus Christ. No I take that back, I pray that you will be moved to make evangelism a central part of your life. Not something that waits for summer projects or bible camp or 'when I'm older' or (fill in the blank). If you need someone to hold you accountable or evangelize with you, please contact me. I would love to have a reason to overcome my laziness and fear and share the gospel.

Live for Him,

Travis

Proceed with Caution

Warning: this is not a light read. I almost teared up while writing it. Proceed with caution.

Watch!

First off, thanks to Nick for showing me this. You may find it helpful to read his blog first, just click on his name to go to his blog. (though this is not necessary to follow my blog)

Thoughts, first off the idea of a mask. We all have them. We put them up so people will see what they want to see, even if it is not the truth. We want peoples approval, we want to feel worthy, we want to feel loved. We keep looking for these things in places they're not, we look for satisfaction in people, in relationships, in grades, in books, in video games, the list goes on and on. But God doesn't want our mask, He doesn't want the fake us that we try so hard to build up. He wants the true us, the person He made us to be, not the one society made. He wants the real us (and any true Christian will not only accept, but should prefer the real you too!) I want the real you!

God doesn't care about where you've been or the things you've done. He doesn't care if you've cut or if you've killed. He doesn't care if you've hated or if you've lusted. His love is greater than that, His love is greater than all of your sin. He doesn't want you to live a life of pain and tears, all He wants is you.

As Nick said, we've all been bullied. In some way shape or form you have been bullied. Maybe its been some name calling on the playground, maybe it was some kid pushing you. Maybe someone calling you fat or ugly or dumb. Whatever it may be, we've been there. Bullying has always existed and it is not going away anytime soon. The way I see it there are three ways we deal with bullying. One, we let it go, we give it to God. It doesn't effect us. However, I feel there are very few, if any, people who truly follow this path. (I know that I don't) Path two, we rant. We find people or objects to shed our feelings and burdens on. We cry, we get physical, we kill things in halo, etc.

Option 3, we hide it and push it under the rug, let it bottle up inside. Until we reach the breaking point, then what? We go to the extremes of path two. Crying becomes panic attacks, physicality becomes injuries, killing things in halo becomes attempting to kill ourselves.

Confession time, the summer before coming to college my life was turbulent. I was going through the transition from high school to college. All of my friends and semi-friends fell out of my social life. I was sinning out the wazoo with little care for God. I went on a mission trip where I vowed to life to Christ...it lasted a week. Then I felt so terrible the rest of my summer was ruined. My youth group went to Worlds of Fun towards the end of the summer, I was looking to have a good time. While there I had a fairly fun time, but on the car ride home I noticed that everyone in the van had someone to be with, except me. I convinced myself that I was a burden, to my friends, to my family. I honestly thought that the world would be better without me. I just wanted someone to care (even God) and when nobody did I just wanted it to be over. The only thing I was holding onto was a song by Building 429 entitled Always. The final stanza is:

Friend I don't know where you are
And I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life
Or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy
If there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got
And you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on

I played this song over and over. Just trying to give myself some hope. I don't know what kept me alive through that, but regardless coming to college was the best thing to happen to my faith. God became real, I could find joy in Him, actual joy not some fake temporal happiness. I'm trying to move to the first option I talked about, putting everything to God. (End confession)

Back to the video, like Nick I read some of the comments and the one I kept seeing over and over was ,'fake.' A slight anger flared up in me. This kid is sharing his soul, and people call it fake. What jerks. Anyway, to them I say, 'even if this video is faked, this story is real. Maybe the bullied kid isn't Jonah. Maybe his name is Steve or Bill. This story is real, it is the story of millions of kids.'

Final comment, at the end of the video the mood takes a turn for the better. The last card says, 'I have a million reasons to be here.' First, I'll commend this statement. We all need something/someone worth living for. We need a reason to exist. Second, if those million reasons are in people, grades, games, etc. They will fail you! God is the only reason to be here that is not temporal, He will always love us. He will always be there for us.

"You're all I want, You're all I need. You're everything. Everything!" -Lifehouse

The Real Test

With the slew of finals almost upon us I have heard many people discuss and complain about tests, projects, papers, etc. One friend in particular was getting really riled over her projects and papers. She became very stressed and any comfort seemed to be futile. As I was thinking through this situation a thought occurred to me, 'what is the real test?'

Is the real test my math or physics test next week, or maybe it's a religion paper or project. What if the real test isn't one sponsored by the school, but rather a test from God? Could it be that He's testing us to see how our faith stands up to the stresses of school, to see if our faith is authentic?

Earlier this semester I was this very stereotype, I was always complaining about my physics and math homework and tests. I found my grades slipping and, to say the least, I became quite distressed. I then realized that I was placing academics/school as an idol in my life. However much I didn't want to admit it, I sucked it up and confessed. I was challenged to let go of school as an idol, I gave it shot and it seemed to work out.

A few weeks later I got to hear a message about school as an idol. The speaker estimated that probably 95% of students hold school as an idol (whether they realize it or not is another story). American culture seems to imply that if someone does good in school then he/she will be successful, they'll get the good job and the dream husband/wife. They will get to live the american dream, just by getting good grades.

I then remembered a passage in Matthew. I was reminded that God will provide exactly what we need when we need it. I also came to realize that sometimes we need a kick in the pants or a slap in face to get us going in the right direction. I have always had the head knowledge that God knows what is best, but I often mixed that up with my personal will. He intended to change this. I came the actualization that God's will is good, but when it's happening to you it often doesn't seem that way.

Anyways, these finals are going to come, the projects will be due and you will get a grade. So what? It's over. But God's love will never be over. Whether you get the 'A' or you barely scrape by with a 'D' all God wants is for you to be fully devoted to Him. The real test isn't what you take in school, but rather where you life is placed. In God? In School? In Friends? In Relationships?

This is both a reminder and a challenge for this upcoming finals, as well as, future 'tests.'

Thoughts, comments and suggestions are welcomed.

Live for Him,

Travis Ray

FB Status

I've recently read the following status (and others like it)

Dad comes home drunk and mad. He pulls a gun on his wife then turns the gun to himself, his little girl sits behind the couch crying. The police came and took the girl. She is now with a new family. Her first day of Sunday school she walks past the building and sees a picture of Jesus on the cross, the little girl asks the teacher "How did that man get off the cross?!" The teacher replied "He di............dn't!" The little girl argued "Yes he did, the night mommy and daddy died, he sat next to me behind the couch and told me everything would be alright. 66% of you won't re-post this.. but, remember. The bible says "Deny me in front of your friends, and I will deny you in front of my father." So repost this if you are part of the 33%

At the end of the status there is a charge to act. As I read it I felt as if the status is kind of saying, 'prove you're a Christian by...'

Does not reposting this mean that you are denying Christ? Does it mean you aren't really a Christian? I personally don't think so. Then what about the other side? If you do repost this does it prove your Christianity or make you a 'better' Christian? Again, I personally don't think so. I fail to see a connection between not posting a facebook status and denying Christ. (I think that a lot of people will read this status and think, 'oh, I have to prove my Christian-ness because so-and-so said I'm not a Christian if I don't repost this')

Thought, if someone were to live with this mindset how would they get through life? One could easily say, 'if you don't go to church x-many times this week you denied Christ' or 'If you didn't evangelize with everyone you saw, then you denied Christ.' If something as medial as facebook can cause you deny Christ then how much worse will the other factors of life be?

From a biblical point the alluded to passage in the status comes from Matthew 10. This is when Jesus is sending out the disciples, telling them what to do when they come to a town. The verse comes into play when people would deny the disciples, because by extension they we denying Jesus and by extension they were denying God.

I don't know if I should feel convicted by this sort of message or if I should question the people who sent it. Is this status an act of serving God? or is it a sign of a misguided faith? Am I rationalizing not posting it to make myself feel better? because I'm lazy? I don't really know the answer.

What do y'all think about this kind of post?

Step One

Hey y'all,

Something moved in me recently to start blogging. I know I kind of blog on facebook with notes, I'm planning on having this blog in tandem with the facebook notes. They will likely share some of my ideas, I may even copy one from here and put them on facebook and vice-versa. However, I will likely be more open and direct with this blog, I plan on being real. Not just putting up some cool ideas I have, but blogging about how life is going, the good and the bad.

We'll start off with a simple blog. Last night was UNL worship night. Afterwords, I had a great 2 1/2 hour conversation with my friend Kevin. We just talked about God and Christianity, it was magnificent. Towards the end of our conversation I had the thought, 'Christianity is so backwards from anything else I've encountered, anything human.'

From a human standpoint when someone pushes us, we're supposed to push them back, but God says, 'turn the other cheek.' When someone lies to us and betrays us, the human response is to get revenge, while God says that He will ultimately judge them, our only job is to love.

One of the final thoughts we had was how different Christianity is from other religions. Nearly all other religions in the world are about what we can do as human to touch the divine. Often times it presents itself as a checklist, do this and that and then you will touch the divine and go to heaven. Lots of religions take the stance that people aren't bad, we just make some mistakes on the way. In particular I am studying Islam in my religion class and they don't believe in original sin, they believe that people often 'forget' about Allah's will and they just need to be fixed.

This thought ultimately boiled down to what Christianity says. Our thought was that the first step of Christianity isn't to go to church or help an old lady cross the street. To become a Christian one doesn't have to pay a tax, say a prayer or do a ritual. The first step to becoming and authentic Christian is to say, 'I suck.' To say that we can't be good enough, no matter how hard we try. To say that we are broken beyond human repair. To give up and surrender.

This is step one, are you there?